who is worse off than you think you are.  And not that it makes your problems any less real, any less important, any less difficult, but it absolutely puts things into perspective. 

I have had some recent financial issues, which is about as far as I am willing to go on this subject and only those who are closest to me know the depths.  I was given a light at the end of the tunnel even though it’s a very long tunnel, it’s straight and narrow and I can see the end.

This recent financial ’scare’, as it were, made me really refocus on what the important things are in my life. The most important being my children and my husband and the time I’m able to spend with them and the things I can do to better enrich our lives together as a family on as little as possible.  And it is possible.  And it’s actually fun.  If you’re lucky enough to be one of my Facebok friends I have been posting photos of some daily activities and with the use of old gift cards, new school rewards (earned by my son), and the use of public play areas, we’ve had a million dollars worth of fun in the past few months for pennies. 

So I have begun decluttering here and there and if you know me, you know that is a huge thing. I am a PACKRAT from way way back…  It’s an emotional process as well as a physical one. It’s totally easy to get rid of things that you just don’t use anymore and know you will have no use for in the future or that just got kicked to the side for awhile (seriously my family can step over, walk past, and expertly ignore a Bounce dryer sheet, that the cat has pulled out of the laundry basket, like nobody’s business…they should medal in the ignoring of trash on the floor).  But it’s a lot different to look at an item that once brought you joy or brings back a memory (good or bad) and make the decision to cut it from your life forever by placing it in a black Hefty bag.  I have taken to asking ‘Does this make me happy?’ or ‘Is there a use for it in the next 6 months?’ Surprisingly the answer has been no quite a few times. (of course things that belong to other people I have put into piles for return, such as books and movies, you’ll be happy to know if you lent me something LOL)

For me it’s pretty hard to part with books, but I’ve even been able to put a few into a bag to trade for cash or credit at the Almost Perfect Bookstore.  As I’m emptying my life of things, I feel my life becoming more full of possibilities. (ooh yes, I went all Hallmark on you)

I’m a photographer and this has been one of the most important ways for me to keep a memory without true physical clutter.  It was amusing to me as I cleared my mantle (once filled with beanie babies, trinkets from a time with a person I don’t even speak to anymore, music boxes that i’ve hated and yet held on to because my father bought them for me) that I was searching frantically for a wedding photo of me and my hubby to put up because that’s what every home seems to have…but that isn’t us. 

In this moment as I was searching for that photo I discovered something wonderful.  This really is MY life.  I don’t have to live it by anybody’s rules except my own (and the county’s…apparently they get all uppity when you want to display yourself publicly in your birthday suit).  My wedding day was a nice day and all, but it was just one day.  And I was bloated and gross and my aunt took the photos and she underexposed half of them and I really didn’t care for any of my photos at all.  But what I do care about is the photo of us dancing at my best friend’s wedding, our recent trip to the beach, and us making crazy faces together.  Looking at THESE pictures (which I now have displayed proudly where that silly self-imposed obligation wedding photo would have gone) you will get a sense of who we are and what we are about and what matters most…it is here you will see the marriage and the family we’ve created. I’m proud to display these photos and I’m proud to be part of this family (who let me decorate however I wish LOL).

So as I took all the remnants from the mantle and bookshelves, I put them in a box and I joined Freecycle.  You probably have one in your area and basically it’s just a group where you list stuff you have and you GIVE it to someone else who can give it a good home when you no longer want it. (It’s the epitome of “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”). 

My first post had to be an offer.  No problem at all. Someone needed material because she was learning to sew.  I had old material when I used to make my own photo studio backdrops, so I contacted her.  (and mom if you’re reading this, yes, I meet in a public place and I actually have a check-in system with a friend when I’m done with the meeting). 

There were several wants and several offers and one caught my eye.  A woman’s unemployment check didn’t stretch far enough this month and she needed food for her dogs and cats and her family.  I don’t have a lot of extra to spare, but I really think if you can’t help out your neighbor then this world really is crap.  Could she be playing me and several other freecyclers? Sure, but that’s when faith kicks in.  And if a baggie of cat food, a few milkbones, and some pop tarts and pancake mix can help, then that is something I’m ok taking a chance on.

So what I’m saying is that I thought I had it really really bad and in my reality it is really really bad…but I have a pantry full of food and a network of friends and family that wouldn’t ever let me or my family starve.

So I am completely blessed and richer than I thought I was because of that fact. And now I’m going to go pay it forward.