I am peeved.

I called Surewest on 4/29 to have them turn on a landline for me. 

It is currently 5/20.

My order sat in some queue and was forgotten to be processed for 3 weeks.

When I called Friday (5/16)  I was pretty darn friendly under the circumstances which had my ADT guy looking at me like I was a piece of shit for making him come all the way out to our house only to find out that our phone line was not active.  (oh by the way, our address is 123 Kiss My Ass Lane in  Screwedtown, AA so come on by and rob us! We have nothing unless you want some 3 week old open applesauce from when we all had stomach flu. Yum Yum!)

So I was promised that by 5 p.m. Friday I would have phone service, by the LATEST Monday and I did ask my pal at Sureweston’t to call me no matter what so that I could then figure out when to get Furious ADT guy back out here for the finishing of the installation.

I called the phone number today that they gave us almost a month ago and found it still answered back with a busy signal.

So I called up my good ol’ pal and asked WTF?

But I was nice.

-ish.

And well we live in a place where we can see Surewon’t trucks around coming and going like busy bees pimpin’ for the queen, but their earliest appointment for us? June 6th.  Nope. Not gonna happen.  No more waiting.

So hopefully they call and get this all fixed by Friday or it’s off to find a totally new company to go with after I rip them another a-hole next to the one, I started to tear open today.

is approximately 657 weight watchers points.

12 PIECES is 3 points

Gotta watch that drop down menu scrolling crap, it could scare the fart out of someone … if there were any left after Pilates class (see last post)

I have this bad habit of watching crap on MTV. I mean, I am old enough to remember the days where they showed uh… music videos… on Music TV… so I probably shouldn’t be just zoning out to these crazy reality shows.

I just DVRd an entire season, including auditions, of So You Think You Can Dance?  I turned on the tv just now and got sucked into an episode of “My Super Sweet 16″ – I have no idea WHY WHY WHY I am so frickin’ entertained by these shows, but I feel like it’s a mini-vacation when I catch them.

Hey, it’s my Amish mistake LOL – I am not perfect

1.  Just because a child CAN walk, doesn’t mean he will and he will choose the moment when you are at your sweatiest to say “Mommy, can I carry you?” which in toddler language means “Mommy, carry me” “please” is optional at this point.

2.  Just because you once had the weight of your toddler stuck to your body and have lost that and more, does not mean that your body remembers how to carry that much weight, certainly not evenly.

3. My sciatic hates me.

4. I’m not even bothering with makeup at Disneyland

5. Eyelashes can sweat

from my kids’ cartoons. Kid you not.  We were playing Trivia Pursuit and I knew the answer Manchester United simply because of a Backyardigans episode (Soccerrrrrr….oops tangent).

There was something on Jeopardy the other day about the name for a Beaver’s home (lodge) and if I had only watched Curious George more intently I would have known that too.

I don’t pay a lot of attention to most things.  I mean basically your lips are moving, but all that is coming out is blah-blah-blah, Ginger (if you don’t get it, read Far Side) and though i’d like to pay more attention, I think that dealing with my kids has given me the first stages of adult ADD… otherwise categorized as “my kids don’t concentrate for more than 5 minutes, how the HELL do you expect ME to???”  But apparently something in me is paying attention to the very weird tidbits fed to children in small doses on ‘educational’ television.  And it gives me bragging rights to say “I got Final Jeopardy correct!” and it also makes me realize I may have a few issues for which I have not voluntarily subscribed.

I don’t think they make a medication for my level of crazy.  It’s like being middle class – not crazy enough to qualify for aid, not steeping in the crazy at a level where intervention is needed…just middle of the road, normal, off the grid crazy. 

Nothing a good dose of Ni Hao, Kai Lan wouldn’t take care of. Yi, Er, San…1, 2, 3, we’re off…

Zach asked me if he could have a bunch of stuff in our ‘to be recycled’ pile after bringing home a book from the library called “make space stuff” lol – hey if he can get a couple days worth of play out of our old junk and I can still recycle it – all the better!

Hey Mom? Can I have the old pretzel box?  

Yes, Zach.

Hey Mom? Can I have these old Capri Sun boxes?

Yes, Zach.

Hey Mom? Can I have these coke bottles?

We have coke bottles? Oh, right, Grandpa drinks diet coke.  Yes, Zach.

Nice looking jet pack eh?

Could I have 2 future space men?

Who knew? Ketchup makes excellent warpaint.

Do you ever have those moments where something completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, random seems to hold a plethora of answers or revelations?

We were walking out of Sam’s Club, our cart full to the brim.  We had parked over by Walmart which meant traveling a little further to unload our goods and at first the juice slipped off the bottom of the cart that Matt was pushing and we had to stop and fix it.  We went a few more steps and then the 2 pack of bread slipped and hit the street with a thud. 

I can only describe the following as a series of flashes and thoughts and a jumbled mess that would mean nothing, but it meant so much.  I saw my husband – we have known each other forever and I remember his voice pre-puberty – and I saw how he has aged.  Gracefully and well, but still aged.  It has been about 20 years since I met him and we have been through a lot both as friends and as a couple.  This moment just made him seem so vulnerable.  It was something that happens to married men who have 2 kids and a dog at home.

Oh, wait.  We have 2 kids and a dog (and 2 cats, a fish and for this weekend only we have silkworms). 

Whoa. When did this become our lives? 

It didn’t seem to phase him at all or maybe he wasn’t viewing it through my eyes and processing it with my filters, but it was so commonplace and something that my husband is not, is commonplace.  Or rather he is his own special brand of commonplace. 

In this event I could see a struggle, both to be where we currently were in our marriage and possibly one still to come. I could see a boredom of being so mundane – a person who pushes a grocery cart for his family, a person who would not be happy with this existence for long, a person who would turn around one day and say “this life is not for me”, a person who dropped the bread.

Or maybe it was just gravity proving its existence once again and I have nothing to fear.

But I am not that naive. 

We should have parked closer.