I used to have a clean house. I knew exactly where everything was because it was exactly where I had put it down.  Now I get to spend 10 minutes a day trying to find my left shoe (not to be mistaken with my left foot) and end up finding it buried in the hamper, a toybox, or once, unfortunately, the toilet.  I am no longer the person who has a cute guest bathroom with sweet little matching soaps, shampoos, perfectly aligned 3 fold towels hanging ala Sleeping With the Enemy.  No, the guest bathtub has a mop in it and until recently it had small plastic ball pit balls that were in an inflatable swimming pool until the cat peed in it. 

And I know this will sound like just another sap story about how kids changed my life, but it did – so much – for the better.  I used to be so uptight about cleanliness – the insane kind where you go to put a hairclip in the bathroom drawer and end up rearranging the q-tips by height (yes, there was a difference in tuft size) and after four hours of meticulously scrubbing your bathroom you would be afraid to pee in it, shower in it, use it for fear that it would undo all the hard work.  Yes, I was that kind of neurotic. My children saved me from that. Now I’m just normal mom neurotic where I hope the cheese puff they just picked up off the floor and ate isn’t stale and that the cat hasn’t licked it, but other than that I have few expectations about such things.  My house isn’t disgusting by many standards, but it no longer passes the white glove inspection.  Although strangely you CAN eat off the floor…but it’s not recommended, it just happens.

I used to be a completely private person too. In some ways I still am and guard some parts of myself which is only smart, but I share  overshare so too much now.  But things I was once shy about, such as leaving the bathroom door open while peeing – well that’s all over now.  I don’t pee alone. It’s not even a choice for me. There’s kids, there’s cats, and there’s husbands…well just the one. Apparently once Mommy left the door unlocked just one time, it was an open invitation for everyone in the household to immediately use this as the spot in which to get my attention. It became the Kodak picture spot.  Sean sits on the stepstool, announces that “Mommy goes PEE PEES! Mommy gets a JELLYBEAN” (our reward system for his potty training).  Zach decides Mommy’s toilet time is the time to tell me about Jimmy’s new Tiger Snake Webkinz and what he named him and how much food he eats, etc etc.   The cats feel this is an opportune time to rub against my legs for the 80th time of the day because I am, as such, immobile for at least 30 seconds if not more and that’s some dang good time for leg rubbin’. I imagine one of my cats might be a redneck, yes.

I used to love to sing, but I never could in front of my parents.  It was just embarrassing. I never sang solo in chorus although I might have been encouraged to do so with some support and was happy to be part of the many voices in the collective.  But now I will burst out into song anywhere, everywhere, just for fun, just to entertain my kids. I was in the party store today and I burst out into my own sparkling rendition of “Spider Pig, Spider Pig” from the Simpsons Movie.  There was applause, a bravo Mommy and a request for an encore…I rock…in my childrens’ eyes.   (and yes, I did say “Thank you, thank you very much” in my Elvis voice, duh)

I am a hugely better person for having been a mom to these two awesome little boys, I am finally now who I was always meant to be, but never had the guts or confidence to be.

Thank you boys, thank you. (from Dead Poets’ Society…yes you’ll learn I am a lover of the ellipse… and quoting movies where I am sometimes the only person that gets the reference)